almost there!

Final draft of DBL is done and sent to the director at the adoption agency for her feedback. We now need to make a 'brochure' with our letter and about 25 photos to show birthmothers a little about us. We're still aiming to be in the system by the end of February or sooner. A few questions that we've been getting a lot lately.

Q:How old will the baby be?
A:Newborn

Q:How long will it take to be matched?
A:5 months to 2 years is average

Q:What race?
A:Most likely Caucasian

Q:Will we meet the birthmother?
A:Yes, this is open adoption which means the relationship with us and the birthmother is open. We decide how much contact we have with her both before and after the baby is born.

Q:Is the adoption domestic or international?
A:Domestic, 60% of adoptions with this agency are in northern CA, 40% out of state

Q:Can birthmother take back baby?
A:No, not once she signs the papers

Q:How long does she have to sign the papers?
A:Varies by state, in CA there is no time limit

Q:When do we get to take home baby?
A:The day she/he is born, even if papers are not signed yet. Which means that yes, there could be a chance that we take home the baby and the birthmother changes her mind. The agency does a ton of pre-birth counseling to ensure this does not happen however, it does in 6% of the cases. Please pray for us that this does not happen

Also, a lot of the matches between birthmothers and adoptive parents are through word of mouth. So, even though it sounds odd (or desperate??) if you happen to know anyone going through the difficult decision of giving a baby up for adoption, keep us in mind. Apparently this is actually pretty common.

My OB-GYN has me on her mental list, in case someone gives birth and decides to give away her baby. This has actually happened, and the birthmother gave her baby to the delivery nurse! The nurse had been struggling with infertility and apparently the birthmother somehow knew her. THEN (!) a few years later the same lady came in pregnant, delivered her baby and gave that baby to the same nurse. I swear this is a true story. When I mentioned this to our caseworker she knew about it, she was actually the one to handle the case. Crazy but true.

Hopefully our next post will be to let you all know that we're 'pregnant on paper'.

Thank you to everyone for all your support, encourging words and prayers! They mean so much to us. We feel like we have a huge family of support as we go through this journey.

Love Sue and Lou